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Summer Brings plenty of new movie releases

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Posted: Tuesday, May 8, 2012 12:00 am

Another summer, another slew of movies being released. The theme this summer is… wait for it… blockbuster action with a splatter of comedy!

Yes, the sarcasm is oozing because every summer seems to be the same, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t a few good ones out there to look forward to.

May:

5/11 – “Dark Shadows” (Starring Johnny Depp and Eva Green) Tim Burton’s reimagining of the classic dark soap opera that finds vampire Barnabas Collins in a strange new world.

5/16 – “The Dictator” (Sacha Baron Cohen and Anna Faris) Another one of Cohen’s films in which he creates a ridiculous character and pokes fun at celebrities. If you don’t already know what this is, then it probably isn’t your kind of film.

5/18 – “Battleship” (Taylor Kitsch and Rihanna) Yes, it’s that Battleship. Based off the board game, this seems to be little more than “Transformers” vs. The Navy. Not a lot of potential, but if you’re a fan of the “Transformers” series then this will probably be right up your alley.

5/25 – “Chernobyl Diaries” (from director Oren Peli, “Paranormal Activity”) A group of young tourists go on an extreme tourism trip into the infamous town of Chernobyl, only to find more than abandoned buildings and radiation.

“Men in Black III” (Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones and Josh Brolin) The very long-awaited sequel finds Agent J tampering with time travel in an attempt to save Agent K’s life.

June:

6/1 – “Piranha 3DD” (Danielle Panabaker) Yes, more killer fish. Though the title seems to suggest it’s more about the female anatomy than actual scares.

“Snow White and the Huntsman” (Charlize Theron and Kristen Stewart) The second of the two Snow White remakes this year, “Huntsman” is definitely much darker, finding Snow gearing up for actual battle against the evil queen.

6/8 – “Prometheus” (Noomi Rapace and Michael Fassbender) From director Ridley Scott, “Prometheus” is the mysterious look at what happened before Sigourney Weaver fought some acid-drooling aliens in space — where no one can hear you scream.

6/15 – “Rock of Ages” (Tom Cruise and Julianne Hough) A rock musical starring Tom Cruise as the ultimate rock star. Do I really need to say more?

“That’s My Boy” (Adam Sandler and Andy Samburg) After having fathered and raised a son while still a teen, the two haven’t seen each other for years. Until dad decides it’s time for the two to reconnect.

6/22 – “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter” (Benjamin Walker and Dominic Cooper) Based off the novel, this movie tells of an alternate history in which the president hunted and killed those pesky vampires in his youth. Looks to be chock full of action and fun.

“Brave” (voices of Billy Connelly and Emma Thompson) Pixar’s latest, this time with a female protagonist who wants to pave her own way in life but in doing so bring chaos to her kingdom. Now she must rely on her bravery to undo the curse.

6/29 – “GI Joe: Retaliation” (Channing Tatum and Dwayne Johnson) I absolutely hated the first movie. But it seems that in “Retaliation” most of the original team has been killed and they bring in The Rock to get some payback. If it has The Rock, who seems to be a franchise saver, I’ll watch it.

July:

7/3 – “The Amazing Spider-Man” (Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone) A reboot of a reboot. Peter Parker is back in high school and gets bitten by a radioactive spider, only this one seems to be a little darker than before.

7/13 – “Ted” (Seth McFarlane and Mark Wahlberg) Due to a childhood wish, Wahlberg’s teddy bear came to life. Now, over 20 years later, he still hasn’t left. From the mind that brought you “Family Guy” and “American Dad!” if that gives you any ideas.

7/20 – “The Dark Knight Rises” (Christian Bale, Anne Hathaway and Tom Hardy) THE BIGGEST EVENT OF THE SUMMER. It’s the end of Nolan’s trilogy, possibly even the end of Batman.

7/27 – “The Watch,” formerly “Neighborhood Watch” (Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade) A group of dads form a neighborhood watch only to find themselves defending the neighborhood from an alien invasion.

August:

8/3 – “The Bourne Legacy” (Jeremy Renner and Edward Norton) There was never just one. A new agent finds himself the target of the CIA.

“Total Recall” (Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel) A remake of the 1990 Arnie flick, a man goes for some virtual vacation memories only to find out that there are some memories in his head that he didn’t know were there. Some are potentially very dangerous.

8/17 – “The Expendables 2” (Stallone, Willis, Schwarzenegger, Norris, Lundgren, Statham, Li, Hemsworth, Couture, Van Damme, Cruz ) It’s pretty much going to be just like the first one, but with more action stars and more dead bodies. I still think poor Steven Segal is waiting by the phone.

Well, that should just about tide you over until the semester starts again. Happy viewing!

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