2008 Woodie Awards
SectionsOur View: Everyone should make suggestions for the PAC
The Standard Editorial Board
Issue date: 10/5/07 Section: Opinion
- Page 1 of 1
With the Public Affairs Conference planning underway, students and faculty should all be considering who can provide the best insight into this year's theme," Seeking Solutions: Co-nflict, Violence and the Co-urage to Change." The Standard would like to offer our modest suggestions:
1. Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle, whether you know it or not, is one of the most influential voices of our time. His commentary points out the self-serving qualities inherent in all conflict. He is a vehicle for truth and he's freakin' hilarious. If the purpose of this conference is to motivate young people to value peace and understanding, there is no better voice to hear.
2. Stephen Colbert
Mr. Colbert would bring balance to this touchy-feely event. He could explain that violence is the only way to end violence. If two feuding factions are in conflict, somebody needs to get bombed. Conflict resolved.
3. Quentin Tarantino
To fulfill the theme of the "use of the arts to address issues of conflict and violence," we suggest Tarantino. He has violence down to an art.
4. Colin Powell
As a former general, secretary of state and creator of the Powell Doctrine, Colin Powell gets it. Maybe he could give it to us.
5. Ralph Nader
To confront the issue of conflict in business, public interest activist and corporate critic Ralph Nader could engage American youth like no other. His rational observations and inspiring rhetoric may teach students how to tighten the reigns of corporate America.
6. Al Gore
Maybe we'd like some scientists around to discuss conflicts over resources, but if we want someone to present the argument, this guy has some experience. As long as we have some other people with expertise in the matter, this is a solid choice too.
7. Rudy Giuliani
This guy can address issues regarding conflict in general. He effectively ran New York after September, 11. Or haven't you heard?
8. Miranda July
An author and filmmaker, all of July's art forms investigate and express human interaction.
9. Bill Cosby
For the family aspect of the conference, we've got another entertaining speaker who feels very strongly about family values and isn't afraid to say what he thinks.
10. General David Petraeus
He's one of the few generals in history who's mission is conflict resolution. This military commander seems suited to address many themes of this year's public affairs conference. His specialty is conflict resolution as opposed to conflict domination.
11. Madeleine Albright
Foreign policy just hasn't been the same since she left. Many people wish she had been born over here so she could be our president.
Honorary nomination: Bob Marley - We can all just listen to "Redemption Song."
1. Dave Chappelle
Dave Chappelle, whether you know it or not, is one of the most influential voices of our time. His commentary points out the self-serving qualities inherent in all conflict. He is a vehicle for truth and he's freakin' hilarious. If the purpose of this conference is to motivate young people to value peace and understanding, there is no better voice to hear.
2. Stephen Colbert
Mr. Colbert would bring balance to this touchy-feely event. He could explain that violence is the only way to end violence. If two feuding factions are in conflict, somebody needs to get bombed. Conflict resolved.
3. Quentin Tarantino
To fulfill the theme of the "use of the arts to address issues of conflict and violence," we suggest Tarantino. He has violence down to an art.
4. Colin Powell
As a former general, secretary of state and creator of the Powell Doctrine, Colin Powell gets it. Maybe he could give it to us.
5. Ralph Nader
To confront the issue of conflict in business, public interest activist and corporate critic Ralph Nader could engage American youth like no other. His rational observations and inspiring rhetoric may teach students how to tighten the reigns of corporate America.
6. Al Gore
Maybe we'd like some scientists around to discuss conflicts over resources, but if we want someone to present the argument, this guy has some experience. As long as we have some other people with expertise in the matter, this is a solid choice too.
7. Rudy Giuliani
This guy can address issues regarding conflict in general. He effectively ran New York after September, 11. Or haven't you heard?
8. Miranda July
An author and filmmaker, all of July's art forms investigate and express human interaction.
9. Bill Cosby
For the family aspect of the conference, we've got another entertaining speaker who feels very strongly about family values and isn't afraid to say what he thinks.
10. General David Petraeus
He's one of the few generals in history who's mission is conflict resolution. This military commander seems suited to address many themes of this year's public affairs conference. His specialty is conflict resolution as opposed to conflict domination.
11. Madeleine Albright
Foreign policy just hasn't been the same since she left. Many people wish she had been born over here so she could be our president.
Honorary nomination: Bob Marley - We can all just listen to "Redemption Song."
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